Travel is Vague

Although traveling typically means going somewhere new, it can represent where you have gone spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

This is about to get real, REAL QUICK.

Ever had that sickening, destroy your life in a hurry, punch you in the gut kinda feeling? Ya, same.

I want this to be a place where you can come and find cheap travel tips, etc., but I would be doing you a disservice if I wasn't completely transparent and upfront about myself, who I am as a person and the journey of life I've gone on thus far.

See that picture up top?

That was taken at a simpler time in my life when I was pretty much surrounded by joy, happiness and a few scrapes in between. The chubby chick on the left is my sister, Cidnee. Sounds like "Sydney" but spelled out ridiculously because my mom thought it was cool? Also, she doesn't look like that anymore, thankfully, she grew into her hair and body. The go with the flow, put his hands up in the air boy centered in the photo is my brother, Christian. He always looked like a freaking model. It was rather annoying growing up with a hot older brother that all of your friends wanted to bang. I have two other siblings not pictured. An older brother Taylor who would be 30 in October, and a younger sister Grace who just turned 17 in March and is drop dead gorgeous (pictured below).

We will keep this in order...

“Taylor was my Buddy-Buddy and sweet soul.” - ME

My brother Taylor had severe special needs. He could not walk, talk, sit or stand on his own. He always needed an eye on him at all times. Maybe thats why my mom and dad decided to pop out a tribe of 5 rather than be one and done kinda parents. Taylor was as sweet as pie with a brutal bite or pinch when you pissed him off. Let's just say it was never intentional, we didn't want to put ourselves through the worse than "Ouch, Charlie Bit Me!" feeling you've seen on YouTube.

Taylor was in and out of hospitals from the time he was born. My mom birthing a child with a jacked up chromosome left us being the family that everyone stared at in public because of the crazy specialized wheelchair and loud screams coming from that child.

At the age of 8, Taylor knew his time was up on earth and met Jesus at the pearly gates to live a healthier and fuller life. His job humbling others with his loud laugh had been complete and he returned home to Jesus.

Hakuna Matata

What a wonderful phrase! As we all know, this phrase comes from many childhood memories and a crowd favorite, The Lion King. This was Christian's favorite Disney movie. Although it might sound dumb, it's so fitting for his personality. "It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's a problem free philosophy". This guy was the chillest, no worries, down to earth guy you could EVER have a conversation with. STRAIGHT UP.

Christian spent 24 amazing years on earth. Blessing so many people with his sense of humor, ability to not take life too seriously and relaxed personality.

This dude would have turned 27 on March 24th. Four years ago, Christian's house caught on fire and he did not make it out. He died of smoke inhalation within minutes. I find myself with a whole heart knowing that Taylor and him are kickin' it hardcore in Heaven together. That when he arrived at those gates he was greeted by our loved ones he had once missed.

"Only the good die young". Which is why my ass is still here!

Six months after Christian passed away, My grandma (mom's mom) went into the hospital for Gout in her foot.

Little background on grandma: This woman was a straight up saint, with a don't mess with me attitude. When it came to her family, she did not mess around! You say something bad about any of us and she will straight bitch slap you with a politically, biblically correct insult to send your soul 6-feet under.

Anyways, grandma was in the hospital for her foot and after almost a week they were ready to release her. The day we were planning to bring her home, they found bleeding in her abdomen, 24 hours and a surgery later, we lost her. The matriarch of our family, the one that kept us all together was gone.

KEEP EM' COMING

As if all of these tragedies weren't enough, God felt like he needed to make us all a little bit stronger. Six months after Grandma passed away, her husband, our Papa took a turn for the worst and after a VERY LONG battle with Cancer and Parkinson's Disease he passed away in his sleep one March night. Papa was the best beer drinker, patient, and kind hearted man you'd ever meet. He would do absolutely anything for anyone, yeah he had his moments like the rest of us, but he was a good man.

On the journey of life, pain and sorrow gave me a different perspective along the way. A little over a year into my path of overcoming and healing, I met the love of my life. It wasn't the right timing and I feared I hadn't been on the path of dealing with everything long enough. I was very up front and told him that I would not be able to pursue a relationship at that time because I didn't fully grasp the most important concept, me; loving and knowing myself.

How can I love someone if I don't love myself?

At this point in my journey I had been going to a therapist that helped me see the light I needed. If I consider myself a part of the Christian faith, why am I not trusting in Gods plan? Much easier said than done. It took me a while to wrap my head around this concept and fully give my trust to God like I had done in the past. In a sense, giving someone else your burdens can be very overwhelming and yet so rewarding if you just do it. Give all your problems to God when the weight on your back gets to be too much. Why would I not do this?

Four months later, it was meant to be. I had no desire to be in a relationship nor did I ever have a want to get married or EVER start a family, but yet again, God has other plans for us. I met Jeremy again and fell madly in love with him. He had interviewed for a position with a company out in Florida and accepted the job. I had just met him, and now he would be leaving?!

He flew out to look at apartments and asked me to help him find the perfect place to call home. I did not know that me flying out there to help would end up being him and I looking for OUR perfect place to call home. Long story short, I took the leap of faith after dating this guy for two months and moved to Florida to be with him. Although we have gone through crazy ups and downs, 3 years later and it has been one of the most rewarding decisions I've ever made.

Finding someone that challenges you is a big MUST.

I have always been a girl that favors travel and so does he. We have gone on many adventures together whether it be visiting a new state in the U.S. or hopping the ponds to visit different countries.

Although I have traveled quite a bit throughout my life, the most important journey I have gone on all these years is finding myself, loving myself, and understanding myself. There is so much healing found by standing in front of something as incredible as the La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, or looking out at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland or simply spending time in the backyard of your parents house with the music playing and a campfire roaring in the background. There is joy and happiness and healing in everything around us. We must be willing to open our hearts, minds and body to let those joyful wonders soak through our veins.

WILL IT EVER GET BETTER?

I would be lying to you if I said I was healed. Sometimes I feel like I will never find a new normal, and then reality slaps ya' in the face and reminds me of everything I still have here on earth.

Life has been the biggest journey I've ever had to pack my bags for. I find myself re-packing my "life luggage" daily. Taking out the items I once thought I couldn't live without, and replacing them with the fruits of the spirit I know I need to share. Traveling through life is the most difficult thing I can say I will do, but I have found that I have a story to tell and through grace, patience and kindness I can spread love to cover the oceans and seas.

"Live through love, learn through patience, and accept kindness with gratitude"

:Liv