New Adventure - MOTHERHOOD

Clearly distraction set in. I'm shocked i even remembered my login for this site considering i haven't typed anything up since 2020. Any hoosier, i got married! and then four-ish months later, knocked up! Apparently i shouldn't say knocked up, because it was planned -- but i like how it sounds so i won't be retiring it for a while. I gave birth to the coolest baby EVER. Her (she's a girl) name is Harlow Christian..named after my brother Christian and honestly, I can't remember where they name Harlow came from but it was one we both loved (me and my baby daddy/husband, Jeremy) and the name we agreed on (huge deal) - so it stuck!

Not that you care, but i will let ya know anyways. The gross icky nasty details of birth. JK i ain't gonna do that to you. But I will tell you about birth because i want people to know that it doesn't have to be the worst thing ever. I went into the pregnancy with my biggest fear in life being [having a kid]. Probably the worst person to get pregnant because about halfway through the journey, it hit me that this kid has to come out. And not just out - like i will most likely have to push this thing out of me. I stay up to date on my kegels so i was v stressed about this hole (pun intended) situation! But crazy enough, when the time came i just rode the wave. But was still hella freaked out.

I worked out and lifted heavy for my whole pregnancy. I read something along the way that said the more you workout the more muscle your baby will have...still don't know it that's a crock of poo or real but i will tell ya this chick was lifting her head to look up at me when they put her on my chest so it's possible that there's some truth behind it. Also possible that Harlow is just one bad mamajama baby - I AM THAT MOM. She is the best!

But leading up to the putting Harlow on my chest part, came the push the baby out part. This is the fun part. About 3am, i woke up thinking i was sweating. I had thick sweatpants on and i had woke up the night before with the same feeling. Figured i should just go back to bed both nights. (yeah, it's gross looking back. I slept in my sweat) 5:30am rolled around and i woke up to some spotting and wetness in my underwear, like i peed my pants. I called a girlfriend, Nurse Ellie, to ask her thoughts. She let me know that my water had most likely broke and to go to the hospital. I then told Jeremy that the water broke and that i was gonna head into work until contractions started. Baby daddy didn't like that idea and insisted we go to the hospital right away. (annoyed sigh, i knew i would be bored going in this early but whatever) We go in, they tell me the water broke, and about 4:30pm that same day is when i started having contractions. I lasted about 30 minutes of dealing with the STUPIDEST pain ever and thought, i am not a hero...GIVE ME THE DRUGS! Epidural was inserted (which was the best epidural ever! I could feel my legs and still move my lower half) and my mom arrived shortly after this.

I won't make it sound like unicorns and rainbows. After the epidural, the babies heart rate

dropped and it got a bit scary for a while there. Those details don't much matter now so i'll spare you to keep the story shorter. Around 11pm the doc came in to check and we made it over 10 cm so it was time to push. First push, i didn't understand the assignment of pushing and let all the air out of my mouth. Second round of pushing, the baby started to crown. One thing i DID NOT want to see was the crowning taking place. Sure enough, i look up to push harder and see the reflection in the [turned off] light above me of the baby's head beginning to creep out. Loud mouth Olivia, i can't help myself and yell "holy shit! it looks like a monkey is coming out of my ass!" we get a good laugh in and take a 15 second break. Jeremy looks over at me and says "are you good?" I say "yeah! are you good?" he confirms that he's still breathing with the look of [holy shit] on his face, i give him some "knucks" and then we give it one more big push and she was out. A whole 12 minutes of pushing and Harlow came splashing out that thang like the Shamu Whale at SeaWorld.

Harlow was not breathing at first and looked a little blue from the left out details of her heart rate dropping. That moment is when i begin to weep. I wasn't sure if my baby was okay but i knew something was wrong. The doc set her on my chest long enough for Jeremy to cut the cord and then they took her from me. Scared. Panicked. Sick. I did not know how to feel. So many things had just taken place in such a short amount of time. It took a couple minutes for her to fully come to but then i heard that little noise that i was waiting for and it was like my world had stopped for a split second. Her sweet little billy goat cry! Relief took over and i was free to relax and enjoy the stitching that took place in my crotch. Jeremy stayed by Harlow's side, while i asked my mom to come hold my hand. At this point, the stitching seemed like the scariest part of the whole thing.

When it was all said and done, i spent 9 months worrying about an event in my life that was so simple. So relieving and joyful. Scary but exciting and came with such an overwhelming peace. Our little lady, Harlow Christian was born 6 lbs 14 oz, 20 inches long and looks just like her daddy! She has auburn hair and piercing baby blues. She is now 5 months old, the cutest petite little thing and is filled with spunk! I hope someone reads this, if anyone does, and replaces their fear with gratitude and excitement. Life is filled with enough sadness and scary parts, don't add to it. Instead, embrace the happiness and pray for God's grace.

DON’T FORGET

"Live through love, learn through patience, and accept kindness with gratitude"

:Liv